Nothing is Perfect and It's O.K.

For the longest time, I always thought I had to be "perfect", and I had to perfect everything I did. I can't pinpoint how it all began, but it was awful!
I'd freak out if my hair wouldn't behave. I wouldn't eat but 2c of veggies a day. I exercised frequently and did 100 crunches every night before bed. I was only 135# when I graduated high school. I was very broken. I don't know who I was comparing myself to, but I was delusional thinking that if everything was perfect, I'd be happy.
I'm so glad I grew up and sought counselling. My head was screwed on not too tightly, or maybe it was over tightened.
The only way I learned the truth behind happiness was listening to people talk. Everyone that looked so perfect, to me were broken on the inside. Many hid battles they dealt with, daily. The ones who strived for perfection, like me, had horrible self images.
When things don't go as planned, it's alright. That's just a change of plans. If my hair won't do what I want it to do, I try figuring out what it wants to do. Yeah, life's messy, but everything washes and dries. If it's leather or wool, it can be replaced.
Now that I've grown up, I value time and life as the best parts of life. I don't care if someone decides they need my stuff more than me. My life, and the lives of my loved ones means more than things.
Where are your priorities? Have you allowed things or people to rob you of your joy? Just reorganize your thoughts by stepping back, closing your eyes, taking a few deep, slow breaths and prioritize. 

Words...What do they mean?

There is a saying - "If you want something you've never had, you've got to do something you've never done.  If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll always have what you've always had."

This is a very powerful idea, and if utilized, can alter your world.  It's amazing how by doing something or not doing something you've always done can impact and change a day, a week, or even your life!

I'm learning where to tweek my life with this idea.  Everyday poses new opportunity to change how I've always done things.  It's fun and very interesting to find alternate ways.  I have found an alternate reality to how my life has always gone.  It's so interesting, I have to share it.

This morning, before I left to volunteer at our local food pantry, I noticed there were hardly any coffee cups, no spoons to use, and dishes hadn't gotten done the night before.  I used to get steamed and leave.  This morning, I did up a couple sink-fulls of dishes before I left.  I can't wait to see the ripple effect of doing this one, little thing. 

I've learned to respond to insults and harsh talk with different tones and chosen words.  I don't want to hurt someone who hurts me, and I want the words coming out of my mouth to be building and out of love.  I wish others would be so sensitive to the words and tones they choose to say.  It's hard to handle when someone else had someone do something wrong to them, but the tone and words coming out of their mouth on me are as if I did it.  That's when I say, "Hey, why are you talking to me like this?  What's wrong?"  Then, the best way to handle it is to tell them how their talking is affecting me and making me feel.

Our communication is what makes our relationships work or not.  I was reading in the Bible today, and I got a good dose of a lesson from one scripture that said, "The voice of a fool is known by his many words."  This is a great lesson to stop and think about the words we say and how they affect the ones we said them to.  Even words spoken about someone need to be handled with care. 

Why not, before we even let the thought escape our heads, put the idea under.  If you find yourself even thinking negatively about someone else, ask yourself, how would you feel if the thoughts you're thinking were thought about you, or how would those thoughts feel told to you about you?  Let our words, thoughts and actions be of love and care, to help build up and grow instead of tearing down, killing and putting under.

Getting Over Pain

For so many years, I always thought the best way to deal with pain was to talk it out.  My most frustrating moments with pain would be when my husband would say something snarky and leave for work.  As a stay-at-home mom, I'd be left to have the words last spoken to me ruminate inside my mind leading to new, negative thoughts and questions eventually turning me into a hot, melted blob of a mess.  Everytime, I'd write out my feelings or thoughts and leave it on the table.  This, in turn led to my husband trying to figure out what to do next, as I boiled under my skin.  Every attempt on his part to try to console me made me even angrier, and I never got closure from any of it.  It would just have to dissipate and stay inside until something new bothered me later, and then, they could both be added together.  This same thing would happen over and over until I just couldn't contain my pain, anymore.  By the end of three months, or so, I would babble out my pain and frustration, trying to stay audible through the tears and snot.  He would listen, and I would feel like a horrible person for cutting him down.
I have recently learned the better way to take care of this situation, as it just happened a few days ago.  I wrote out my letter of frustration.  After serious thought, an hour later, I put the note away.  New thoughts crept in, and I wrote out a whole page of "pity party" questions and put it on the table.  I sat on the couch and cried.  I prayed for God to take this pain and hurt away and to bless my husband at his job.  I found comfort in my Bible, and crumpled up that stupid paper on the table and threw it in the trash.  My thoughts were: "What was I thinking?  How would I like to come home to a note of such hurtful words?  Doesn't my husband have enough drama at work?" 
I went to the couch, again and read more in a book that is helping me out, greatly "Making Love Last Forever".  By the time I went to bed, I had euphoric peace, and when I woke, my husband was touching my hand asking me if I wanted McDonald's for breakfast!  I couldn't believe how awesome this morning was!
So, from this one night, I learned the best way to get over the pain of hurtful words was to pray it out to God, and let it go.  It is easier said than done, but it's not impossible.
Thank you, God!

Get Up and Do It!

Some people think that doing something new is too scary, or maybe they do self-talk, and they talk themselves out of being brave.  The thoughts that cripple us:  That's a stupid idea.  You'll never get anywhere by doing that.  Who do you think you're fooling? 
But I say, be brave.  Go for it!  Just try it, and see what happens.  If you fail, that's a lesson on how to do things better next time.  Don't give up if one detail doesn't cooperate.  Tweak it, and carry on.  You have a vision, an idea, and if you don't go through with your idea, who else will do it?
This is your time, and it's your journey.  You're only as strong as you allow yourself to be.  Don't be brought down by criticising words.  Listen to the criticism, and if it's not building you and helping you, throw it away.  Let it go.
Believe that you have the power and authority to do this great thing.
You are in charge of your happiness.  You need to take the steps to make your life better, because it's your boat, and you have the power to change direction at anytime.
"If you want something you've never had, you've got to do something you've never done.  If you keep doing the things you've always done, you'll always have what you've always had."
Give everything equal amounts of thought, and consider your avenues, but don't stop and not go, again.  The world needs to see what you're capable of.  Besides, there's always someone waiting and watching you that will be inspired.  To my surprise, I have older people, as well as younger people that watch me, and they get encouragement from things I do or words I say.  Never think you're insignificant to change the lives of those around you.  You're not here for no reason.  God put us all here to help each other.
I hope you find something you're good at, or something you've always wanted to do, and do it!

Keep Getting Back Up

So many times
I have been knocked down
Knocked down by
Good things and not so good things
Sometimes, it was hard for me
To find the way
To get back up, again
But I did, everytime
Everytime I got back up
I was changed
I was changed
To see what had knocked me down
And not let it knock me down, again
But there are still times
When some of the same old things
Bring me to my knees
For those things
I find it easier to get back up
I have learned the patterns
And evaluated the importance
I find the strength
How?
Through prayer,
Listening to preaching,
Sharing my heart with others
And learning the new combination
To the various locks set before me
I am not weak, and I'm no fool
I will never give up
I will always
Get back up!

World of Nerf

If this world were made of Nerf
I could jump all over the place.
I could jump out a window on my second floor
And land without a scratch.
If this world were made of Nerf
I could kick a Nerf tree
And not scratch my toes.
I could run barefoot all over and not worry
That my feet are going to get torn up.
If this world were made of Nerf
The ground would be orange.
Would that change the color of the sky?
We could use wet wipes to clean dirty spots
In our yard.
If this world were made of Nerf
I'd have to fill a swimming pool
With jello and bounce in off the top
Of my house.
If this world were made of Nerf
Kids would play outdoors
Much more.
If this world were made of Nerf
The dude who invented it
Would be the president.
I love Nerf.

Grateful Heart

Bursting with joy!
Singing with confidence,
And loving every minute of it!
What is this life worth?
Every moment I find worth
More and more than the last.
Tasting every breath for the
Importance God placed upon it.
Breathing the breath I have been given
To fulfill a dream set in my heart
From the very start.
I don't think I'll ever, really be able
To fully appreciate how miraculous
These gifts are that have been
Given to me. :)
I'm grateful for my three kids.
I'm a stronger woman for the man
That's been placed in my life.
Never before would I have been able
To see the place I've been put today.
Some may see my life as simple and underwhelming,
But not me.
This, all of this, is such an amazing,
Wonderful, glorious blessing
That I thank God for everyday.
I'm not rich in money,
And I'm not physically a super hero.
As for love, compassion, respect and devotion,
I am richly blessed.
There is nothing man can offer
That can ever outweigh the promises
God has made to me.
I may go through trials, temptations and setbacks,
But for me, they're not failures.
They are my stepping stones to success.