Crowded

They're to the left, to the right,
They're right in front of me
They're here, and they're still coming
They surround me so tightly
If I try to move, I'll bump into them
What would they think?
How would they feel?
The tightness of the space I have
Is so uncomfortably small
If I cry, will they attack?
Why do they press in so?
Do they need to be this close?
There's no room for me to move
I cannot understand where I'm to go
What I'm to do
I want to just get out
I want to break free
But even after breaking through the first ring
There's layer upon layer of them surrounding me
It's not normal to be this close
I cannot stand not being able to move,
So I crawl
I crawl as far as I can go
I'm free, and they're still there
They're still jam packed
Against each other like peanut foam
I'm out, and they cannot see me
I've gotta go
I have to run
Because if they catch up to me
I'll be trapped, again

Simple, Right?

Over many years, I've found keeping life simple helps me enjoy it more.

~I only buy what is absolutely needed.  Only with agreement, do I spend extra.
~I cut out swearing, smoking and drinking.  Without these in my life, I don't stress as much.
~I only drive to where I need to get to.  This keeps me on time, and cuts down on gas consumption.
~I try to do something fun with my kids everyday.  They're my future, and I try to give them as much love as I can.  The more time I invest in them, the happier they will be.
~I only wear make-up on special occasions.  Being clean is much more important than being made-up.
~I give smiles, compliments and hugs as much as possible.  I am so full of love; I want everyone to have some.  :)
~I keep my mouth shut, if I feel an argument arises.  Why argue?  Eventually, it will all be over, anyway.  I'd rather be happy than right.
~I listen more than talk.  Listening gives me more understanding than to always be talking and letting foolish things spill out.
~I pray several times a day.  It's not ritualistic, and it's not the same thing.  I pray when urgency weighs on my heart and when I need help.  Prayer avails much!
~I am sympathetic, empathetic and sometimes pathetic.  I understand my way of life is not as others' lives are, and I'm o.k. with that.  I don't have anyone to live up to, except God.  He's my ultimate goal.
~I have no expectations.  This makes it much easier, for me.  I used to have expectations, and they were set too high.  No one, not even myself could live up to them.  I was filled with anxiety, and let down to depression.  Having no expectations makes everyday a joy and surprise.
~I take naps when I'm tired.  When I was younger, I thought I had to stay awake all day, no matter what I was doing or not doing.  Now, when I'm at home, and there's nothing going on, and I'm tired, I nap.  It makes me more refreshed and keeps me from getting frustrated from being too tired.
~I only use my phone or computer when necessary.  I used to use them quite a bit, and I was missing out on life.  My life is more about who's around me, my home and outdoors.  Outdoor activity is so important, to me.  Fresh air is very much needed along with sunshine.
~I won't tell bad dreams or nightmares, anymore.  I used to tell them, but I realized there's nothing good in them, so I stopped telling them.  What good does telling them do?  I do, however listen to my children's, so I can comfort them and let them know everything will be o.k.
~Bare feet.  I can't express how much I wish I could go around with bare feet, all the time.  I only wear socks and shoes when I have to.  My feet just feel so much better naked.
~Beauty starts from the inside.  I do believe that the personality and depths of a person's heart are what truly make them beautiful.  What people put on the outside is what they feel makes them worth more to others.
~Keeping an empty schedule makes life a bit more easier to work around.  I try not to make plans for anything.  The only things that are planned are work, school, extracurricular activities my kids take on and appointments.  Everything else is subject to change.  Many times, it's just a get up and go kinda deal.
~Church is very important in my life.  I believe church is the gathering of two or more people believing in the Gospel and coming together to worship and learn more about God.  I make sure to read as much inspirational books, my Bible and my Sunday school quarterly when I get the chance.  I listen to Christian music in my vehicles and pray throughout my day.  This brings a joy inside me that is inexplicable.

These are the ways I keep my life so simple.

SpRiNkLeD wItH tWiNkLeS

Seeking out the many parts
Along life's journey
We measure in plenty hearts
While we're learning

And many days
We think we know
All the ways
And then we grow

When we look
We see the twinkling
Not of a book
Comes pretty sprinkling

Seasoning in a once bland
And boring place
Coloring on our land
By mercy and grace

So many chances
To stop and pray
In quick glances
Fading to gray

Take it for what it's worth
And live each moment
To the fullest

No one can make you do it
You must choose
And do it well

Don't fade into gray
The way some do

Live to see the sweetness that's been spread before you.  Seek out the beauty in your everyday.  Slow down and enjoy time and everything.  Life's a fleeting breath, and it's here for us to enjoy.  Live like it's your last day.  Love like you will never run out.  Laugh with all your heart, so no one can say you were fakin' it.  Do what you do, and let no one tell you your dreams don't mean a thing.  Dreams inspire life!

Always a Plan

You know, no matter where you are, or what you're going through, God has a plan.  He has a superior plan that overrides all our plans.  We think we have control, sometimes, but soon realize God's plan will always prevail.  The sooner we understand that, the easier life becomes, to an extent.  Life doesn't get simpler, and people don't treat us much better, but we learn to accept things for what they are and trust in God to love us.  God loves all of us, no matter what state we're in.  If there is trouble, it's not of God, and He didn't create the bad things.  There is a definite enemy to all of us, but it's not God.  Praise God in good times and bad, because He loves us!  When you're not sure where to go, who to turn to or what to do, pray God will open a new door.  Pray, always for guidance, wisdom and knowledge from God, and be grateful in all your days.  God never changes, even though our circumstances do.  He loves us unconditionally, and He never leaves us.  Search out your heart and figure out the faulty parts and ask God to forgive you and help you to always turn to Him in times of struggle.  Be thankful of the blessings God gives, but don't worship them or the creations of God.  Only worship and praise God. 
I have been to very high places, in my life, where it seems nothing can touch me, and I've been to extremely low places, where I just couldn't see the light, no matter what direction I turned.  Life is tough, and times can be challenging, but through my walk with God, I've learned every thing's easier to deal with if I just continue to lift my face to God and thank Him for my life.  I thank Him for just being who He is.  He is above all I could ever imagine, and gives me what I need everyday.  When bad times come, and they don't stop, just because of Him, I see them as challenges or learning times.  It's just easier to change my thinking into God taking care of me in my situations and knowing He will guide me through.
It used to be hard for me to seek Him out, first, in every situation, but after so many times of coming to Him last, and getting my answer I wished I had, at first, I've learned to pray before everything.

I always begin my days with prayers of thanks for the day, my night's sleep and what the day will bring.  I read my Bible, devotions and inspirational reading, because it lifts my heart and reminds me that God is always right there.  He has an ultimate plan, and I'm not alone, no matter how lost I may feel.

For My Friends Who Are In Sorrow

We used to have something so right
But now, it seems so long ago
I keep that locked inside me tight
All the things I used to know

Do you feel the way I do?
Or am I all alone
A love I thought was true
Is forever gone

The only part I don't get
Is how it slipped away
It seemed like such a sure bet
But it became so gray

My dreams are haunted
With what I wish
And nothing fills that space

I'll never get one last kiss
From you
The only one for that place

I held you dear
And now you're gone
A dream that's just no more

My heart was filled
With warmth and light
But now it's just so sore

I have to go
I must move on
For if I stay
I will be gone

I throw it down
Shattering it before me
Watching the dust of it swirl

A glass heart
That was so fragile
That belonged to a girl

I am woman
And I am strong
The love I thought
Was all wrong

I have a new direction
Going forward
Moving on
Loving God
He is my song

This is not how I, personally feel.  It's been inspired by hurting friends.  I hope it does them justice.  It was just something I thought I could do, and the thoughts were here, so I let them loose.  ♥

Glory To God

There's just so much love flowing through me.  It makes me smile and sometimes laugh, just knowing it's there.  I got it from God.  The more I seek out God's word, praise Him and pray to Him, I am filled beyond measure with sweetness.  It hasn't always been this way, though.
I started out, before I surrendered, as a girl only out to get what she needed, or so I thought.  I found myself never being satisfied and always needing more and more of things I couldn't afford to get.  I was completely lost.
I didn't surrender completely, at first, either.  When I first "gave my heart to God", I let down a load of my burdens, but insisted to carry another load I had no idea I still had.  I left God several times.  I even took a year "break" from church to find out what I needed to do. 
Out of a prayer came an answer.  I took a chance and found a new church, not by accident, or coincidence, but by the will of God.  It's been two years, and I surrendered, completely only after the first week there.  I felt the last burden of baggage leave me.  I submerged myself with all that I could, so I could keep myself on track.
Last year, I could see myself growing more and more with my faith, love and understanding.  I do all I can, now to keep myself humble, serving and loving God.  How?  All I do is love everyone I talk to.  I give hugs, have conversations, listen, and pray for those I feel need the prayers.  I praise God, everyday, because He's so wonderful!  I thank Him for my everyday and for all He's brought me through.  It doesn't matter my circumstances, God never changes, and He loves me, still.  I was a dirty, rotten, messed up lady.  I used to be, but now, I am so thankful, He took me into His arms and forgave me.
I ask forgiveness everyday, because I'm not perfect.  I hope everyone knows that.  I'm not a very quiet person, either.  I laugh more at myself than anyone else, because of how rediculous things I do are. 
I am who I am, because God made me that way.  I am so thankful that God made us for His purpose.  That puts it all into perspective, for me.  No matter what I go through or what comes against me, He's always watching, and I trust that.  I'll never stop working for Him.  I will do my best to give Him honor and glory and praise Him in the morning, noon and night.  He is worthy of all praise!
I hope and pray that through me, more people can accept Jesus into their hearts, knowing, it doesn't matter what place you're in, or how many "bad" things you've done, God loves you, and He's waiting for You to say, "Yes!"
It's not easy, and the responsibility of taking care of yourself is hard, too.  The thing is, we all gotta start somewhere, and sometime.  Why not now?

Not Afraid of Dirt

         When I was young, I was always told to wash up before eating, probably because I was so dirty from all the outdoor play.  I don't think I owned a completely clean piece of clothing, because I was never afraid of dirt.  There are things in dirt that can cause sickness, but I guess I'll get to that bridge when I cross it.
          I went to school to learn to weld, and everyday, the teacher would ask if I ate the metal.  My face was always smudged with the dirt of the work.  I have a hard time staying clean when I'm deep into my work.  It doesn't matter what I'm doing, there just seems to be a magnetism between me and messes.
          On a deeper level, I don't seem to mind dirt, either.  When my husband comes home from work, and I want to show him how much I've missed him, I'll give him a great, big bear hug.  He sometimes says, "You don't want to do that.  I'm all dirty."  I really don't care.  My love for him runs deeper than dirt.  I hug many people who aren't very clean, because I don't care about their dirt.  I'm just not afraid of dirt.  I show love to people who others stay away from, because they may have something scandalous in their closet.  I don't care.  I'm still not afraid of the dirt.
           If someone has enough time to point out the dirt I have on me, they need to search their heart.  Love is above all dirt.