No More Rose Colored Glasses

I turned 40 this year. It has been just about a year since my Dad passed away. My life changed drastically. My view became more clear, with richer, deeper tones. It isn't good or bad. It just is.

I know every moment in my life is important, and I don't wish to take anything back. I still make mistakes, but I'm done second guessing myself. I have great instincts, and my self worth is not dependant on anyone or anything.

I have had to let go of many people and things. It hurts, sometimes, but in the end, there is relief.

I am trying to begin my big dream, but I don't know where to start. I have too many ideas, and I have no idea of what to do next. I believe in my dream, and I do believe this will become something. Sure, I'm unsure, but I know there is a path. I just need to find it.

I used to be optimistic and thought of myself as a pacifist. Well, I'm tired of trying to make everyone but me happy. I am not God, and my happiness is important to me.

I know I had a rough start. I had a rough middle, but I don't have to finish rough. It's time to buff out and get polished.

So, no more rose-colored glasses. That means I will not be seeing others' lives as more beautiful than mine. We are all beautiful in our own right. There is much beauty in this brokenness. I see more beauty in me than I ever did because I looked at everyone else as my muse. I was seeking a way to make my life better by comparing myself to others. I thought I could make myself better by trying to be like them. That's the "rat race". Well, I'm not a rat, and I hate racing.

I know how to seek peace. I know how to become calm. In my most traumatic moments, my inner self becomes as calm as a pond at midnight. No ripples. Just calm.

I am 40. This is my year to begin, again. I am good at that. I have had to start over so many times. I am very good at adapting. Here I go, again.

Mental Vacations

Each day, I wake up to this tranquility. It's peaceful and serene. Each season allows room to grow. It's so beautiful here. I have a wonderful family, and life moves at a slower pace. 

We're not concerned with new, now, next of the consumer life.

Out here, we are concerned with what today brings, how we're feeling, and what can we do today.

We live in the here and now.

Yes, it is a drive to see businesses and city life, but we prefer this rural place.

Our neighbors are spaced out at a comfortable reach. We look out for each other, and most of us smile and wave.

The air smells fresh, and at night, the stars are clearly seen.

The town we're considered in is at least 5 miles away.

I love this countryside life!